Tuesday, September 10, 2002

FRIENDS...what is the definition of a friend? Are our friends people who we have things in common with? Like, people who go to your church or who are in your sorority/fraternity...places where you're almost forced to interact? But I don't think that constitutes a friendship. For example, when you have a job...you have co-workers, and obviously, you must have a few things in common since you work in the same place. But most of the time, your co-workers aren't your friends...they're still just co-workers...you get along in the workplace, and maybe you go out for a drink or something, once in a while. So, I don't think that friends necessarily come from the people we are forced to meet. Nevertheless, we have our friends, and they are some of the most special people in our lives. Then what defines a best friend/close friend from a "hi/bye" friend? I think one important distinction is your level of comfort/trust around that person. But your level of comfort/trust comes from where? I don't think it's how long you've known a person...b/c I have friends that I've known all my life, but I don't feel nearly as comfortable around them as I do w/some of the people I have recently met in my life. And I don't think it is simply the things you have in common with someone. My two closest friends and I...we all have different tastes in guys, careers and most hobbies. Still, I consider them my closest friends. I had a discussion w/my friend about "friends"...and we sorta concluded that part of the definition of a friend is having faith in that person that they can be better than who they are...that you give them the encouragement they need to continue growing. I definately agree with that...but it's not the only part of a friendship. Are they people you can have fun with? Fun is a part of comfort, right? You can act dumb, yourself, random when you feel comfortable with the people you're with. So maybe fun and comfort go hand in hand. What about moral similarities? I think that's really important. But what are the morals that are highest on our list that we hold steadfast? I don't think I could be friends with a rapist or murderer. And I used to think that my friends would have to have the same morals as me, but I have a friend who has cheated on most of her bfs. And it's not like it happened just once. It's almost a pattern...personally, I could never do that b/c I think it's morally wrong. But! She's still my friend. I care about what happens to her and I want only the best for her. So, maybe it's not just your morals. I just looked up the definition of "friend" in the dictionary...b/c SOMEONE must have thought that this must be what a friend is, right? It says..a person whom one knows well and is fond of; an ally, supporter, or sympathizer. SUPPORTER!! Someone who walks with you and supports you when you are down!! Someone YOU support when they are down. Supporting you even when you are wrong, but supporting you to become a better person...b/c everyone makes mistakes and true friends stick by you, even when you make those mistakes...they stick by you to see you through them - almost the way parents are. What I want to know is why you "click" with one person and not another. I know nice, smart, good people who I just can't "click" with. I would probably consider them a "hi/bye" friend, even though there's nothing wrong with them. What is up with that?